i heard he killed 18 czechoslovakians!

hello friends and family.

it's saturday july 19 and i'm in prague, czech republic. it's pretty shit really. i want to send you pictures but this computer is 8 seconds away from having a heart attack and my hair has grown long and thin and i look like a mongoloid so i won't.

let me see, i haven't written since i was in germany, and dan's doing a pretty comprehensive blog over there because he loves writing, so i'll just do the main high and low points. first, we went to a concentration camp. it was pretty sparse and there's not much to see there because the russians hulk smashed it all in the cold war and then the germans rebuilt it so we would give them 10 euros. it's pretty grim. it was haunting because it's something you dedicate entire semesters to studying, but it's something i'm very willing not to do again. there was the typical bus in, walk around a bit, put a stone on a grave in honour of the deaths, watch a movie and get bussed out again before it all gets too real/far away from mcdonalds for the fat australian and british tourists. and they are fat, and obnoxious. americans are, on the other hand, cultured, slim and can speak other languages. we r lame.

then because we happily conform to our fat australian stereotype, we followed a series of misleading german signs that claimed to be taking us to mcdonalds. for about an hour. seriously. we couldn't find it!! it kept saying, oh just take this strasse, and now that strasse, and behind that big german flag and it's under that rock. but we couldn't find it so we went back to the stations looking like this ( ) in our bellies and like this :( on our faces. then of course it was in the station. we suck. so we ate mcKshickens which apparently suck in germany and fries with mayo and got attacked by automatic doors on the way out. i can't remember anything after that except i know i had half a beer then through up for about an hour, which was AMAZING. do you know how good it feels after you throw up??? i didn't. i'm definitely going to do that more often.

there were some drinking games with some cool canadians, steph, shannon and sam, it's a rule in canada yes, garth and andrew the americans (andrew was reading how to make friends and influence people the hostellers version, which is how he knew it is still cool to put gel in your hair and spike it up neatly every morning with a comb and get in peoples personal spaces. more freaks to come in this blog).

the next day i stayed in bed because i had a fever and felt sick so i read all of catcher in the rye, which i didn't love that much because i'm too much of an emotionally intelligent woman and have nothing of the emotionally demented teenage boy with which to connect. i just wanted to sit him down and have a serious talk about his issues and make him go for psychoanalysis. boys! really.

then the next day we stole our last breakfast and got frowned at by the heart of gold hostel staff for the last time, and took a train from berlin haptbahnhof in the direction of budapest to prague. it was ok, there was another staring man and a very hideous hulk-like man and an american man who gave me a book about ghosts for no reason which was ok i guess. and a kid with a mcKSHICken who despite our awful shicken experience still managed to make mayonnaise face look overly tempting and we thought about pulling him into pieces and eating him.

when we got to prague we had this disastrous experience of not being able to use our 1000 kroner notes (about 70AUD, and the only ones you could get from the atm) becuase nobody would change them, which you can read about on dan's blog, and the witch who kept doing a smile that was more like baring teeth at hansel and gretel as she fattens them in the cage. all detailed in dan's blog.

we're at a hostel called hostel advantage, which is ok, nice beds and nice big lockers but FULL OF FREAKS. we're sharing a dorm with 3 forty-five plus year old scottish men who all CAME SEPARATELY but SHARE A LOVE OF TALKING ON AND ON AND ON AND ON ABOUT SUPERMARKETS AND SOUP AND OTHER THINGS THAT START WITH SU AND SUCK AT 7AM AND SNORE ALL NIGHT AND GET TOO CLOSE. and there's a man who stays awake on his laptop all night and sometimes watches me while i sleep because i'm the only girl in the dorm. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH. czechoslovakian freaks. which made me have a panic attack and demand steve come here right now and be my man protector when dan leaves. but no! i will be strong and an ambassador for feminism.

we've been too digestively fucked and tired to do anything here so we've walked around shops, looked in h&ms, and seen movies. and paid $8 for hot chocolate. it's not cheap at all here. we saw hancock on our first night, which was not good, don't see it. then we saw the incredible hulk. which was incredible. HULK SMASH!!! ed norton is beautiful. i don't care what any reviewer says. it's awesome.

tonight we're going on a pub crawl we think, get some absinthe etc, but we could really just buy one and go see hulk smash again which i would like better actually, green liquid, green fairy, green monster you can just see how that would be a good night.

it's too touristy and boring to bother writing about prague. i wouldn't come here again. the architecture is cool but boy do they know it, it's basically 500 kroner everytime you look at a building. i'm not keen.

gotta run, this internet is more expensive than anywhere else in europe.

love you all homies, everyone comment!!!!!!!! tell me about your lives and what's happening and when my blog is boring. xoxoxoxo